I am 47 years old
I only recently (late July) discovered the definition of asexual and it described me perfectly.
After some self exploration I started my Ace journey relating to the autochorrisexual side of the spectrum BUT after more discovery I realized that I am actually a lesbian on the demisexual side of the spectrum!
I am sure you wonder how I came to discover this about myself…after all I am 47 years old…how can someone live that long and not realize that she’s a lesbian? Well the only way I can explain it is that with me being asexual I was never attracted sexually to anyone…male or female so being a lesbian did not even register. I had lots of hetero relationships…two marriages…3 children. I had male partners because that was normal and expected. I never enjoyed the sex side of the relationships (sometimes I did enjoy the sex act but it was rare and usually involved me being somewhat intoxicated). I loved being with someone and doing lots of fun things together though. My love language is quality time. 😉
So fast forward a little…
After I realized that I was asexual I definitely knew I wanted to have someone in my life to share special moments with and to spend quality time with so I joined AceApp in search of another Ace because I wasn’t up for another relationship with a Sexual person. I listed myself as bi-romantic on my profile because I realized that I have had many female crushes in my life and I wouldn’t mind being in a romantic relationship with an Ace female. I still wasn’t thinking about lesbian sex…after all I am searching for Aces…so sex isn’t the norm or usually important, right?
I met this wonderful “homoromantic” female ace through aceapp. We began chatting and really hit it off. She has been so helpful in my journey to discovering myself. Over time chatting with her and answering questions she posed to me, I realized that I just may be a lesbian. I wasn’t sure about it but the more I thought about my past relationships and how much I did not enjoy them, it became very clear to me….I am a lesbian.
Our relationship has progressed quite a bit and she now teases me because she thinks I might not be ace. She says this because after experiencing sex with her…I am somewhat crazy about it with her. I do believe I am definitely demisexual because I don’t feel any attraction to anyone else but her. She is the same…we both realize that we are very compatible and we became “sexually” attracted to each other through our mental connection over time. Spending time together is very relaxing and we have lots of fun when we are together.
Being this close to someone is a very new experience for me and I can honestly say I have never experienced this type of connection with anyone in my life. Having the bond and connection is very important and at this point I believe that is a huge factor for us being able to enjoy the sexual side of our relationship as demisexuals.