Hello. Thank you for agreeing to do an interview with me. What should I call you?
Let’s go with J.
Tell me about yourself.
I’m a disabled Hetero-Romantic, Demi-Sexual. I’m still a bit new to being Demisexual and sometimes I think I might be Grey-Ace instead. If I’m around people who I think are going to use the “just trying to queer the straights” argument with me I just say Grey-Ace. Male pronouns all around.
Do you feel like parts of your identity are conflicting?
Not really, I have the advantages of being an invisible illness and Hetero-Romantic. So I can hide with the normies. And I do feel conflicted about that.
Have you come out to people? How were their reactions?
A few close friends and 2 members of my family. My S/O knows, but not a coming out, more of a hey, I think he’s this thing.
Honestly, I’m a super private person, as well as most of my family wouldn’t get how it’s any different than straight.
What would you say are some advantages of being demisexual either in general or for you personally?
I won’t speak to in general, but for me, MyS/O has confidence issues, so her knowing just how rare sexual attraction is for me, and that I’ve never had it for more than one person at once has been a very big help too her mental health.
What are some disadvantages?
Can I smack the next person who says, queer the straights. So you’re a monogamist, so am I. Oh like the church? Just any of that shit.
Tell me about your relationships.
Long term S/O. And a few exs.
When I was trying to figure out what I was I went on kind of a serial dating spree. Basically thinking “I found it once, so I know it’s there, why can’t I find it again” and once I did find that rare spark I would get clingy as a kid. Because “This is what love is supposed to be, right?”
My disabilities mostly effect my stamina, so my partner sometimes gets frustrated when I’m not up for stuff, but that’s about it, partner is overall super supportive of my health.
Let’s talk about representation in the media. Are there any characters that you can identify with?
Be warned, most character’s I Identify with are at least morally pretty grey, and some are down right repugnant. But their are very few character’s with a personality like mine that are wholly good.
Canonically does Charlie Weasley count?
Head Canon, Endeavor from BNHA is a sex neutral Ace. Wolverine is almost certainly a confused Demi-Sexual. Bane is Ace. And really that’s it.
Anything you’d like to see more (or less) of in the ace community?
I mean more memes is always good, but more seriously, I’d like to see us getting more involved with the general LGBT+ movement. Went during pride and almost no one knew what the ace flag was.
Are you doing anything pride-related during Asexual Awareness Week 2018?
Going to my first meeting with the local Ace group. But otherwise nah.